Me and My Control Issues

So, apparently, this blog has 2, count ‘em, 2 whole hits that weren’t me checking to see if I had any hits! This is fantastic news to me!

So today, I’m going to talk about my control issues, because I figure, hey, it’s a decent sized part of my personality, and it’s currently affecting my life, so why not get it all out on the internet.

Let me first start off by saying I do not have an authority problem. In fact anyone close to me will tell you that I may follow rules set down for me a little too carefully. Seriously, even my parents think I need to loosen up. I always follow the rules, ALWAYS.

So perhaps that is where some of my issues come from. I have no problems following the rules, so I’m constantly faced with the question, why can’t everyone else? I mean seriously, thus far I have managed to lead a completely fulfilling life without sticking a toe over the line, so why do some people have such a huge problem with authority that they cannot manage to follow even the most basic instructions if they come from a position of authority.

As much as rule breakers irk me, I can generally live with it. I accept the fact that we live in a society which makes it okay for people to ditch the occasional regulation. I don’t have to like it, but I can live with it.

My real problem is when people tell me what I’m going to do instead of asking me. And again, I don’t mean people in authority, I mean people my own age.

For example, for some reason when I’m going to the dining hall, if a friend texts me what time we’re going, I get annoyed if it’s not phrased like a question. For example “Hey dinner @ 6.” vs.  “Food at 6?” See, there’s not really a huge difference here, just a question mark. A simple question mark makes me feel soooooo much better.

The dinner thing is a minor annoyance, it’s stupid, and could just be chalked up to me being a little bit of a control freak when it comes to my meal times. The real problem comes when people make plans for me without asking me first, and the anger increases based on how much of my time they’re planning on taking up. For example telling me I have to be somewhere for an hour is mildly irritating, telling me what I’m going to be doing all day, just pisses me off and causes me to blog while angry, which is never a good thing.

So hypothetically speaking, let’s say my friend was going to have a birthday but I had to unexpectedly go out of town at the last minute and missed it. Let’s also say that I specifically told the friend to go on with the celebrations without me. Now let’s say she didn’t, and has informed me that I will be celebrating her birthday this weekend.  Not asked, informed. And not just, ‘Hey we’re gonna have cake on Sunday,’ but ‘Hey, you’re going to do whatever I want on Sunday, because you missed my birthday.’

 Now, I know that in the grand scheme of things this really isn’t a big deal. And I do feel bad about going away for her birthday, and honestly I have no problems hanging out or whatever for a couple of hours to celebrate my friend’s birthday. My problem is the way it was presented to me. And now I have to figure out a way to balance my natural tendency to suddenly remember homework or something and be busy all day and night with manners and knowing that I should go hang for a while.

Ultimately I know I’ll end up going over there for cake and to celebrate my gal pals b-day, but I won’t be able to reconcile the fact that she told me what to do, and I’ll end up doing something else during the day.

~Katie